


Foreign Exchange Club-Episode 6: Appalling 13

by egyptian



Category: None - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 20:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egyptian/pseuds/egyptian
Summary: Wow, remember when an Apollo 13 reference wasn't incredibly dated? I sure don't!





	Foreign Exchange Club-Episode 6: Appalling 13

[The Foreign Exchange Club members are gathered on the soccer field, decked out in samurai armour and armed with shinai. The music rises dramatically as the camera slowly turns to reveal the lacrosse team, in full pads and armed with their lacrosse sticks. The camera cuts back to the faces of our heroes, dirty, sweaty, clearly they have already been through an ordeal. Kimiko steps forward from the crowd and hardens her gaze.]

Kimiko: On my signal we charge. We either break through or die in the attempt.

[There are a few curt nods, then the heroes prepare themselves. The camera cuts back to the lacrosse team. Their captain steps forward from the line, slapping her stick down in her hand]

Captain: Here they come.

[Kimiko gives a signal and the girls charge. The lacrosse team immediately responds with a counter-charge, both sides letting out a bloodthirsty cry as they come closer and closer, the deadly clash of arms immenent. At the last second the principal appears between the two sides, looking angry as usual]

Principal: (turning to look at the Foreign Exchange Club members) What on earth are you doing?

Kimiko: We're training to re-enact the battle of Sekigahara. What are /you/ doing out here?

Principal: Stopping you! I told you, this week's challenge isn't the samurai battle! It's..

[roll opener]

[The Foreign Exchange Club members (minus Oki and Lynn) are gathering at the back of the school at the Wheel of Calamity, all of them still decked out in samurai gear. The girls from Sakai high have also gathered, most of them are staring at the Foreign Exchange Club members suspiciously. The Principal takes up his place at the Wheel. He looks at it for a moment, then walks over to the Wheel. Cut to Principal finding 'Re-enact the Battle of Sekigahara' on the Wheel and rips it off, turns to scowl at Our Girls, then tosses it aside unceremoniously]

Principal: Now that /that/ bit of confusion has been taken care of and we all know that ARMED COMBAT ON SCHOOL GROUNDS will not be an event we can give the wheel a spin and find out what this week's challenge between Sakai High School and our own Seifun Maximum Security High School will be. (signals the teacher standing at the wheel to spin it) If you would be so kind...

[The wheel rattles and growls as it spins. After a few moments we see it slowly click past 'Form a Hot Jazz Band', 'Tug-a-War' and 'Beauty Pageant'. It appears to be stopping on 'Put on a Play', then suddenly clicks past that to 'Build a Model Rocket']

Principal: And we have our event for the week. Each team will construct a model rocket which will be launched on Friday...(realizing what he's saying) Model rocket?! That means rocket fuel! Flammable explosives! No, I forbid this! Re-spin the wheel!

[Both groups of students start to loudly protest]

Sakai Girl: You're just afraid that your school's team is going to lose because they're a bunch of idiots!

Gin: No way! If there's anything we know well it's fire!

Principal: We're re-spinning! I'm not letting that band of criminal miscreants have access to anything that could blow up the school.

Sakai Girl 2: If you re-spin we're going to file a complaint! You can't do this! 

Kumiko: She's right! I have the official rules for the ongoing contest here (takes out a black binder) and it says that once the wheel is spun the result must be honored no matter what.

Principal: Where did you get that? Alright, fine! The rocketry challenge is back on again.

[The two sides cheer]

Principal: On Friday the two teams will meet here to launch their rockets. The rocket which achieves the highest altitude will be the winner, provided it's parachute deploys and the rocket lands without crashing. Both teams are permitted to make unlimited test launches before Friday. No help from non-club members is permitted. Good luck and God help us all.

[The two groups disperse and leave. The principal turns to the lone teacher with him on the platform]

Principal: We're going to have to contact the fire department. Tell them that this is the big one.

[Cuts to the Foreign Exchange Club clubroom where the girls have spread out in their usual way. Lynn and Oki enter at the same time]

Lynn: Hey guys, what's up? Did we get enough armor for everyone?

Gin: That's not the challenge.

Oki: Sorry I'm late, I got wrapped up in the book I was reading in the library.

Lynn: So what /is/ the challenge?

Kiku: (drawing a rocket with crayons) We have to build a rocket.

Lynn: Interesting. Does anybody know anything about rocketry? Or modelling?

[Kumiko twitches nervously when 'models' are mentioned, but nobody seems to notice. The camera cuts to Maya, who is holding throwing knives]

Maya: Let's be honest, nobody joined this club because they love science. Most of our pursuits are less useful to mankind. (throws a knife)

[Camera does a fast sweep across the room to Shizu, who is holding a balloon in her teeth. There are a number of knives embedded in the wall around her at random]

Shizu: Can we just buy a rocket kit and build it?

[A knife thumps into the wall right above Shizu's head. Camera cut to a wider shot of the room]

Gin: No way. We want to win, not just place. Sakai is definitely going to show up with something special. 

Junko: Hey! (points) Oki's got a smart kid book!

[Everyone looks at Oki, who holds her books up in front of herself defensively. The title of the book she's holding “Physics for Overachievers” is clearly visible]

Oki: Stop looking at me like that!

Lynn: You're smart!

Oki: I am not! I'm just like you guys!

Nanae: No way. You know things. You could build this rocket, couldn't you?

Oki: Well...

Gin: You must! We need to win. We can't go on like this, getting crushed by Sakai at every turn. We're turning into a laughingstock. We won't be able to show our faces if we can't put on a good showing this time.

Lynn: C'mon Oki, it'll be fun to do this. We will do most of the work, we just need someone to tell us what we're supposed to do.

Oki: Well alright, I'll come up with a plan. We have to figure out where we can get the materials of course. I'm still sort of grounded from doing bad on that last test, so I don't think I can beg for money from my parents.

Junko: (looking at Ming) Ming, you've got some disposable income don't you?

Ming: (blushing and angry) You said you wouldn't tell anyone about that!

Junko: I /meant/ your credit cards.

Ming: Oh. (hiding her face behind her magazine) Yeah, I can pitch in.

Gin: Good, good. Oki, we'll need a list of materials as soon as possible. Ming, Junko, you two are in charge of financing. Nanae, Lynn and Maya will handle construction.

Kiku: Which job do you want me to do?

Gin: You and Shizu will be in charge of...well, nothing. You're both completely incompetent and I don't want you two screwing anything up.

Shizu: That's very wise.

Kumiko: Ah, well I see you've got everything figured out then. Won't be needing my assistance then?

Gin: (looking confused) No, I don't think so. I usually try to leave you out of these plans. You're always so busy with...well nobody knows what it is that you do honestly.

Kumiko: I do try to maintain an air of mystery. Alright, I'll leave you to it then. If any trouble comes up with the student council I'll interject as usual.

[Kumiko gets up and excuses herself from the club room. Once the door is shut she sighs briefly and then walks off. Cut back to club room interior]

Lynn: What was that all about?

Gin: What was what all about?

Lynn: She seemed...disappointed. You don't think she wanted to help, do you?

Nanae: (turning on the video game system) Kumiko doesn't help. That isn't her way.

Kiku: (sitting down next to Nanae and picking up a controller) That's right.

Lynn: Don't you guys think that's kind of weird. Why would someone join a club and become president if they don't like doing club activities?

Gin: Kumiko helps in her own way. She deflects a lot of trouble that we don't see coming. There's plenty of times she's saved us and we didn't even know she had been involved until well after.

Lynn: Ah, I see. Still, I think there was something more to her comments.

[Oki finishes writing on a piece of paper, then lays it on the table where everyone else can see. Gin grabs it and looks it over.]

Gin: Okay, I don't know what any of these things are. Hydrazine hydrate? Methanol? Hydrogen peroxide I know, but isn't 80% purity unusual? And what's oxyquinoline?

Oki: Well we need a potent fuel if we want to get maximum altitude, and if we combine those chemicals right it'll form a hypergolic fuel that won't require an ignition system. That will save us a lot of weight and complexity. I'll be able to give you a more complete materials list once I've gone to the science lab and signed up for some computer time. I need to run some material stress simulations to determine if we can use aluminium for the structure or if we'll need to go with a more rugged composite construction.

[All the girls look at Oki like she's speaking moon man language]

Oki: Okay...hm....the chemically things are rocket gas. The metal is what we'll make the rocket from.

[A wave of understanding washes over the group. Cut to Yayoi and Ming walking into a model store. Cut to the two of them showing the shopping list to to the shopkeeper. He looks confused and shakes his head. Oki sitting at a drafting table drawing up a set of painfully complex plans. Cut to Junko and Ming walking into a chemical plant. Cut to Yayoi and Ming showing their shopping list to the plant manager. He looks confused and shakes his head. Cut to Nanae, Maya and Lynn looking at the plans confusedly and trying to assemble the rocket. Cut to Yayoi and Ming walking into a Japan Self Defense Force base. Cut to Yayoi and Ming showing their shopping list to the colonel. The colonel nods and smiles. Both girls celebrate. Cut to Oki inspecting the model rocket with a jeweller's glass and calipers while Nanae, Maya and Lynn watch. She looks up and gives them a thumbs up. The group celebrates. Cut to the soccer field behind Seifun High. The girls have set up a launch pad and their model rocket is set up and ready to fly. Maya and Lynn are wearing silver fireproof suits, each with a fuel canister. The rest of the group is standing back behind Oki, who is manning the control panel.]

Oki: Alright, let's test this thing and see if she'll fly. Fuel rocket!

[Maya and Lynn take turns wheeling their canisters up to the small rocket and fuelling it up.]

Oki: Sound all clear!

[Kiku turns the handle on an old fashioned air raid siren. Everyone covers their ears as it proves to be painfully loud]

Oki: Pad is clear! Begin countdown. Five..four..three..two..one..ignition!

[The small rocket sputters, then starts to rise from the pad. The girls begin to cheer, then their cheers turn to screams as the rocket banks over and flies straight into the crowd, hitting Nanae right in the head. Everyone scrambles over and looks down at her nervously. Cut to the rocket back on the pad]

Oki: Adjustments to control surfaces complete. Fuel rocket!

[Maya and Lynn fuel the rocket up again. The group of girls is now standing waaaay back away from the launch area.]

Oki: Pad is clear! Begin countdown. Five..four..three..two..one..ignition!

[The rocket sputters, then rises straight and true...then banks and flies towards the group. The girls scream and scatter. After a moment the rocket comes down and hits Nanae on the head. Cut to the rocket back on the pad again. The girls have set up a makeshift bunker with a tiny window slit that they're all peering out of]

Oki: Adjustments to gyroscope complete! Fuel rocket!

[Lynn and Maya quickly refuel the rocket]

Oki: Pad is clear! Begin countdown. Five..four..three..two..one..ignition!

[The rocket sputters, then screams off the pad at a weird angle. The girls scream from inside the bunker as the rocket flies right towards them. The rocket sails through the window slit and there is a terrible explosion. When the smoke clears the bunker has been blown to pieces and the girls are all standing around shell-shocked and blackened. A moment later the remains of the rocket fall from the sky, hitting Nanae on the head. Everyone circles around to see how she's doing. Nanae reaches up and starts choking Oki, and the girls all struggle to separate them. Cut to the club room where everyone is sitting around looking despondant]

Maya: Well now what do we do? We have what, a day left? Do we have any more money for more parts?

Ming: No, and we're not going to get any more.

Junko: What are you complaining about? I'm the one who had to get a part time job. You just asked your dad for cash.

Ming: I worked for my money just the same as you!

[Cut to Ming in the warehouse in the hero costume again]

Ming: Prepare yourselves evildoers!

{Camera swings around to reveal the Drifter with the belt already hanging around his neck. Camera swings back to Ming]

Ming: Where do you get all this money anyway?

Drifter: I'm a TV network executive.

[Cuts back to the clubroom]

Lynn: Money or not I don't think we have enough /time/ to build a new rocket.

Yayoi: Well we need something. I don't want to have to face Sakai and have to just hope that their rocket crashes too.

Kumiko: (walking in) I heard that something went wrong with our rocket.

Oki: There were some unexpected launch stresses which our control system couldn't compensate for.

Kumiko: Mm, I see. So we don't have much time left. Have we come up with a backup plan yet? I might have an idea of my own.

Gin: (barging in and interrupting) Don't worry everyone! Gin has come through for you once again!

Maya: Gin! Where have you been?

Junko: What have you been doing?

Gin: Well I expected we might have a problem, either because of our own bad luck or Sakai's sabotage. Fortunately the Physics Club has a few members who still owe me favors. Take a look at this baby!

[Gin steps aside to reveal a rocket twice as large as the one Oki designed. It looks large, powerful and a little dangerous. The girls all crowd around and seem to lose interest in what Kumiko was going to say.]

Oki: This is amazing!

Nanae: Good work Gin!

Kiku: You've saved us again!

Gin: Of course I have. I never fail. Ha ha ha!

Oki: Well what are we waiting for? We need to do a test flight!

Lynn: Definitely! I can't wait to see this thing in the air.

[Everyone piles out of the room except for Kumiko, who actually looks a little mad this time.]

Kumiko: Oh you have to be kidding me.

[Cut to the launch pad outside. The girls have set up the rocket, complete with dramatic spotlights to help them track it as it flies off into the night sky. Oki is at the controls, everyone else is standing well back]

Oki: Pad is clear! Begin countdown! Five..four..three..two..

[Cut to the principal's office. He suddenly perks up as if he's detected unseen danger]

Principal: What is this strange feeling of danger? (he turns and looks towards the window) What are they doing out th..

[Cut to a massive fire which has swallowed up half the soccer field. Six fire trucks are parked around the blaze and firemen are desperately trying to extinguish the flames. The principal is facing down Gin]

Principal: Ms Nakamura, I don't know exactly how this is your fault but I intend to find out!

Gin: It's sabotage! I'm betrayed once again by those who are jealous of my many feats and accomplishments.

Principal: I swear, I must have been a thief and murderer in my former life and you...YOU are my karmic debt!

Fireman: (walking up) We're going to have to call in more help. This is bad...the worst I've ever seen.

[Cut to the rest of the girls, who are watching the blaze sadly]

Lynn: Well there goes our last hope.

Maya: At least the explosion was cool.

Kiku: And the fire is beautiful. You know, if you look closely enough you can see the angels dancing in the blaze.

[Everyone looks at Kiku suspiciously. Nanae moves forward as if to defend her.]

Nanae: She...isn't allowed to use matches anymore.

[Kumiko walks up behind the group. Everyone seems oblivious to her presence, so she takes out a police whistle and blows it. Everyone starts and turns around.]

Kumiko: Attention!

[Everyone snaps into a perfect military line]

Kumiko: Face front! At ease!

[The group follows her instructions with military precision]

Kumiko: (clearing her throat and putting on a more casual, ladylike air) Alright. Well since the group needs a rocket, I would like to offer my own effort. You may not know this, but I rather enjoy building models myself, and I may already have something ready.

Yayoi: Seriously?

Shizu: No way! Our leader is a nerd?

Nanae: (solemnly) It would seem so.

Kumiko: Hey, I'm not proud of it! There's not one person here who doesn't have something that they're secretly ashamed of. Some of us, more than one thing! But here I am, exposing my darkest and most humiliating failing to you all for the good of the club. 

Lynn: It's not that we don't appreciate this, we're just surprised. I mean, you never help with anything. Not directly anyway.

Kumiko: I know. It's...not easy, you know.

[There seems to be some sort of understanding in the faces of the club members. The fire light fades out to black, then cuts to Kiku and Shizu holding up a banner that reads 'The Big Day'. Sakai is setting up an impressive looking rocket on the pad. The Foreign Exchange Club members seem to just be hanging around and watching.]

Kiku: Their rocket looks so cool.

Yayoi: I wonder what our rocket will look like? Has anyone seen Kumiko?

Junko: Not yet. She's got Lynn and Maya with her. Said she needed help with something.]

Principal: Alright ladies, let's get this disaster waiting to happen underway. First up, Sakai High.

[The Sakai high girls cheer and count down in unison. Their rocket launches straight and true, shooting up high into the air. After a moment it's little parachute deploys and it slowly floats back to earth]

Random teacher: (looking at a rangefinder) 235ft!

Principal: An excellent flight by Sakai High. Foreign Exchange Club, do you have your entry ready?

Gin: You have to give us a few minutes. We're waiting for people.

Principal: Ms. Nakamura, if your group isn't ready stalling isn't going to help.

Kumiko: (From offscreen) We're right here!

[The principal and Gin turn and look. You can hear gasps and cries of fear. Cut to Kumiko, Maya and Lynn standing next to one of those trucks they use to launch ballistic missiles. Kumiko's rocket is gigantic, steaming slightly. All three girls move away from the truck as it automatically prepares for launch.]

Principal: Oh my lord.

[The Sakai girls back away and the Foreign Exchange Club runs to Improvised Bunker Ver. 2.0. There is a countdown on loudspeakers, then the rocket thunders and rockets into the sky. Cut to principal and the teacher with the rangefinder]

Principal: Well?

Teacher: I lost it after it passed 11,000 feet.

Principal: 11,000 feet?! Someone stop this thing! This is getting dangerous.

Kumiko: (proudly) We can't stop it. Nothing can stop it. Don't worry, it'll come down on it's own.

[Cut to Japan Self Defense HQ. Cut to radar room where people are running around in a panic.]

Senior officer: Well where did it come from?

Radar man: Not sure sir! It just popped up on our scopes.

Senior officer: Can you at least tell me where it's headed?

Radar man: Current trajectory should carry it into North Korean airspace in three minutes.

Senior officer: My god....alright, get me the prime minister. We have a war to stop.

[Cut to Seifun high school. The foreign Exchange club is gathered around the podium]

Gin: Disqualified? Why?

Principal: It has to land /safely!/

Gin: You didn't see it land at all. It might have been safe!

Principal: The only safe place it could have landed was the Sea of Japan!

[The Sakai girls crowd in and interject]

Sakai #1: You have to declare a winner.

Sakai 2: This is unfair! Our rocket landed safely. The result should be obvious.

[A teacher walks up and hands a phone to the principal]

Principal: Hmm? Yes. (nodding and looking apologetic) Yes! Yes sir of course! Yes! Oh no, not anyone at our school. What? Oh no. Yes. Yes! Hmm? Oh yes. Yes, thank you.

Sakai 1: Now what?

Gin: Are you going to tell us who won or not?

Principal: Alright, listen carefully please. By order of the Prime Minister and the JSDF this contest has been officially suspended pending a complete investigation. There is no winner or loser at this time.

[All the girls boo and complain as the ashen faced principal turns to walk away]

Principal: I need a drink, immediately followed by a second drink.

[Roll closing]


End file.
